I have an instinctive desire to question everything. I ask and I listen. I know, I learn and I understand. I am a verbal processor, so questioning and listening encourages many conversations. This flow of movement is how I understand. I am tenacious and have a tendency to jump into things with a resounding, YES. Understanding fuels my passion. I value understanding. It connects me to who I am, my relationships, concepts and events in my life. Despite the routine of the day to day, it truly inspires a love for living the life that I live. When I have understanding, I intuitively fly. I feel on top of the world!
What about those moments when I don’t understand?
I have gone through a challenging season of not understanding. In fact if I am truly honest, that one season has been a long season. I have questioned and I have listened, but I do not have understanding. The silence wobbles me. Not knowing unsettles me. I find myself questioning even more, in hope to find an understanding that inspires my reason why and fuels my passion. My motivation to keep going dwindles. The routine of the day to day drains me. When I don’t have understanding, I don’t intuitively fly. I really don’t feel on top of the world.
So, what happens?
Even when I don’t have understanding and I am frustrated with the circumstance, I still have choices. It may not be immediate, but eventually, I choose to choose.
1. I choose to feel - I connect to what it is I am feeling. I express that emotion and express it some more. I forgive. I release. I bless. I let go. Then repeat if I need to let go a little bit more. I return to joy.
2. I choose to believe - I connect to truths, even when my reality does not yet line up to those truths. I take time to gather those truths and make a decision to believe regardless. I nurture hope.
3. I choose to encourage - I connect to personal affirmations. I create my own manifesto of encouragement that honours, uplifts and edifies who I am and the season I am in. This season has a purpose even without my understanding. I receive love.
4. I choose to keep walking - I connect to each step, small or large. Despite what I currently don’t understand, I keep walking. I keep going and I keep being me. This season is a season and no matter how long, it will pass and a new one awaits. Each step is movement.
5. Finally - when I can’t, I choose to reach out and connect to those who can. It really is ok not to be ok and surround myself by those who are. I am worth it.
QUESTION TIME: When you are in an unexplainable season, how do you respond? What happens to your feelings, behaviour and thinking when you don’t understand? How does that effect the whole of you? What would you choose to choose to help you move through that season?
Yours still choosing to choose, even when I don’t understand, Jo